Thursday, July 02, 2009

I'm too hot to fuck.

A clump of grass.
Originally uploaded by zoeinbrussels.

It's been lovely and hot these past few days and today we have threats of a thunderstorm - again. Still, it's been ideal weather to eat outside in the evenings, difficult to sleep at night and finding somewhere to sit without melting - other than the cellar - uncomfortable. But it's sunny and it's summer, so I mustn't complain.

But why, oh why, is there a photo of a clump of weed? You can't smoke it, it looks dead (half of it is) and appears to be in Herman's run.

Herman likes this stuff. It has to be a weed as it grows alongside my triangular house (TM - Robin) and nothing, unless it's a weed grows in my garden. When Herman is running around the garden he loves diving into this stuff and scaring the hell out of us as we can never see him.

So yesterday, with some advice from my comments box, I soaked the area around this clump of weed, dug it up and then soaked an area in Herman's run so that I could dig a little hole and stick it in. This wasn't as straightforward as it sounds; nothing is in this household. my trowel ended up bent backwards at a 90° angle, but fortunately the metal is rather easy to bend back, but I'm not sure how many more times I can re-shape my trowel without it snapping in half.

Also, as I was digging in the rather confined space for a human in Herman's cage, I managed to hit a root which was just over 1cm in diameter - and can only come from the hedge, I suppose. Nevermind, I plonked the weed in the hole because afterall, a weed is a weed and will grow whether I like it or not.

Although I badly needed to lie down after that stupid bit of exercise under the burning sun and during which I managed to bust my back so I was wondering around lamely for a bit, wincing every time I made any form of movement other than putting one foot in front of the other. It took me 15 minutes to de-cork the wine and wasn't really worth it in the end.

I was dying to show the Twat my bit of gardening and so, around 7pm I took him to Herman's run and showed him.

"What am I looking at Zoe?"
"That, there. Herman's already been through it too."
"What, THAT?"
"Yes, you twat - isn't it great?"

Dead silence.

And then he looked at me quizzically.

And walked away silently.

Men.

Wednesday, July 01, 2009

Oh great, it's just another bill.

If I wrote and sent letters, I may, one day, receive a letter in return. If I wrote and sent cards, I may, one day, receive a card in return. If I wrote and sent emails, I may, one day, receive an email in return.

But I don't.

Some people are kind enough to send me emails, truth be told, but as I am so bad at replying promptly it's a wonder that I get any at all. I haven't been commenting, Tweeting - nothing much at all. Going out is scary so I prefer to stay in with a book. I aim to start doing 'things' with my daughters during the holidays, like cycling, walking, going to Antwerp and even the sea, but the Twat says that none of this is really normal and that I am hiding away from my friends.

He said that I should start seeing friends again but if I'm honest, I really don't want to. Not because I don't like them but probably because I'm spiralling down into another funk and this is making me feel extremely selfish. I have a job for the time-being, my children are around, Todd is behaving, the Twat hasn't up and left me and yet there are certain things that I'm almost frightened to be asked about amongst company. There are days when I'd like to join Herman under his roof tile in his run and lie there totally immobile with my thoughts.

So I'm sorry for not having commented on your blogs or answered your emails - I will. I just need to get something out of the way first, and it's not going to be easy.

In the meantime I do receive post in the form of bills, oh yay. I added the fourth to the pile today - my property tax bill for which they haven't billed me for 3 years. I called them up this afternoon and they said that I shouldn't worry, the bills for 2008 and 2009 are on their way.

No wonder I don't write letters - after I've paid all these bills I won't be able to pay for the damn stamp.

But hey, at least I'll be up-to-date, which is more than can be said about my clothes.

Labels: Bills, depression, hiding, me me me

A quick and perhaps silly question:

I've been trying to renew my Flickr Pro account via my PayPal account. As I don't have a credit card, I can simply insert Flickr's email address so that the payment arrives via email.

Has anybody done this and if so, which Flickr email account and how safe is it?

I'm going bonkers here - Flickr reply asking for further identification, PayPal wouldn't answer the phone as they were having a fire drill - for an entire day, it appears, so help! I refuse to email either of them (apart from making the payment) again as this is bloody insane.

Intelligent people, enlighten me. Please.

Pretty please.

Labels: Flickr, PayPal

Tuesday, June 30, 2009

Shooting myself in the foot?

Todd finally came home last Thursday after calling me from his dad's car to say that out of the 10 kids that had auditioned to get into this new school of his, only 5 passed. And he was one of them. Although extremely proud of my son, I admit to breaking down in tears as although this is what Todd wants, it also means that I shall see less and less of him. There was a point when I thought that to be a good thing but reality has this nasty habit of jumping up and biting your arse when you least expect it.

Prior to the audition, Todd sang me his version of 'Yesterday' with too many gasps for air and so out of tune that I could only feel proud that he was going to stand up and sing in front of strangers. Singing in B Flat comes from my side of the family - none of us can sing, and nor can my children it seems. But Todd was so bursting with enthusiasm - and that was what was really needed to get into the school - that bugger the fact that Belgium does not have talent; this country oozes enthusiasm.

He also showed me the dance that he was going to perform which was a bit 'stiff' and the moves didn't really flow from one to the other, but he must have practised quite a bit as he got through on that too. The poem and the piece of prose that Todd had to recite from memory were a doddle - so we shall see how things go as of September.

Since the boy has been home he has been very sweet. He hasn't stayed out overnight - yet, disappears from time to time but comes home when asked and in time for supper. I do believe that my relationship with Todd can be salvaged - hell, he even tidied his bedroom and listened to my ideas to change it into a more 'adult-looking' bedroom so that he can have friends up there.

So that's a brief up-date as Todd has only been home a few days and who knows what may happen between now and September. On Saturday he's off to France with his dad and PHT and then I'll have him for 2 weeks in August which, going by previous years, is a time where he spends most of his day trying to find friends who aren't on holiday.

Admittedly, I am waiting for that bullet to go through my foot.
So I'll smile and wait - hopefully for nothing.

Labels: audition, happy, new school, Todd

Monday, June 29, 2009

Open House.

Herman's shed open.
Originally uploaded by zoeinbrussels.

I was going to post something else but the sun and Glastonbury kept me away from here for a change and so nothing got posted.

In short: I still haven't managed to have both girls in my grasp at the same time for a photo - I need to know whether I look old enough to have 20 year-old twins or do I really look that age now. Vanity reigns supreme.

Something that I never thought would happen: Todd is being a dream - when I get to see him, that is. He hasn't stayed out all night once, comes home when I tell him and more on that later.

Hermie doesn't seem at all interested in the lavender that I planted in his run so I am trying to get hold of some lemon grass this week. There is some really strong grass that doesn't grow too tall growing in certain parts of my garden so it must be a weed that Herman likes hiding in. Question to all you green-fingered people: can I dig it up and transplant it into Herman's cage? I'd appreciate any answers to that one.

This heatwave is rather nice. Remind me not to complain about this year's summer. Apart from the humidity which hasn't really set in yet. (So I can't complain there either.)

Naked Bike ride photos coming up - if they're any good.

My battery died after about 6 photos. GAH.

Friday, June 26, 2009

Coralie's small party.

Coralie's 20th 2
Originally uploaded by zoeinbrussels.

Two nights after Coralie's party and the smell of cigarette smoke has finally gone. I forgot to shut my door/window and all but Coralie and her best friend happen to smoke and so the smoke wafted in... but not strong enough to kill the damn mosquito that was out to get me in the early hours of the morning.

Apparently everybody enjoyed the small party although Coralie is a bit of a picky eater and so her choice of food was limited. I threw in some extras, Quarsan bought a crate of beer and it looked as though there was enough to fill all the stomachs that turned up, with leftovers. I found it strange that only a couple of people brought additional booze/soft drinks so was not surprised to find the crate of beer empty aswell as the few cans that were brought by a couple of friends.

After that they all went out drinking and dancing somewhere and several came back to sleep over, but I have no idea how many. It's a strange feeling getting ready for work having to tip-toe around the house due to sleeping Young Ones. There were no cars outside in the morning so anybody could have spent the night here - I just wish I knew who for curiousity's sake.

And to make yesterday a real success: TODD PASSED HIS AUDITON! Admittedly this did make me sad as it means that he is going away, but he is very enthusiastic about his new school and only 5 out of 10 people auditioning passed. I'm very proud of him and will have to stop being selfish: Todd wants to go to this school, is enthusiastic about it and so he'll be happy. Well, I hope so.

I'm now going to have to try and see him as much as possible during the holidays which is no easy task. He's a slippery fish.

Oh yes, Coralie has got me bunny-sitting for 2 weeks for a friend of hers'. Now with my track record of small-animal-sitting I am sure that Coralie's friend would think twice about letting her rabbit come anywhere near here. Perhaps the fact that I own a tortoise was reassuring.

Or Coralie has suddenly learnt to lie really, really well.

It's a mystery to me.

Thursday, June 25, 2009

Sleeping with the Enemy.

I lie awake waiting for you. As I lie on my bed, thinking about you, I feel this strong urge to grab you and squeeze you, because I can't forget last night. You came to me unexpectedly during the balmy and calm night, and what happened in my bed still leaves a tingling sensation in me.

You appeared from nowhere and shamelessly, without any reservations, you lay on my naked body...

You sensed my indifference, so you applied your hungry mouth to me without any guilt or humiliation, and you nearly drove me crazy while you drained me. Finally I went to sleep.

Today when I woke up, you were gone. I searched for you but to no avail, only the sheets bore witness to last night's events.

My body still bears faint marks of your enthusiastic indulgence, making it harder to forget you.

Tonight I will remain awake, waiting for you....

....you fucking mosquito.

_{re-posted from years ago.}

Labels: Mosquitoes

Wednesday, June 24, 2009

Do I look old with these?*

It's that time of year when people close to me and a generation younger, start having birthdays, starting with today.

My beautiful daughters, Coralie and Tatiana, both turn 20 today.

And it is only 20 years after their birth that I realise that they do, despite being non-identical twins, have their own separate language. It's not much, but I had always taken for granted that they were using Belgian slang. How fallen are the innocent.

It feels as if there hasn't been enough time for them to reach double figures, then be teenagers and now - well, they have stepped out of the teenage era and have become young women. Properly. It even feels wrong referring to them as 'the children/kids' (although I normally only use that phrase when Todd is in the equation too), despite the fact that they are still my children. My grown-up daughters.

Coralie is having her party here tonight with about 15-20 friends. Yesterday, while flapping her excellent exam results under my nose, Coralie convinced me to buy all the food and prepare everything as part of her birthday present. Christ knows what I'll have left, if anything, to actually buy a present. Despite some pretty impressive persuasion, she hasn't managed to kick Quarsan and I out for the evening as I have to go to work tomorrow, so we'll probably take some photos and disappear behind our respective computers until the Young Ones go out clubbing, as you do at that age, I believe. Or I may even find some more porn in Todd's bedroom - there's always hope.

The weather looks good, I have beer cooling in the fridge already and I'm somewhat worried about Herman. I think I'll have to make a barrier so that the Young Ones won't all scare him. But they're a sensible bunch, so it should be OK.

I have no idea, as of yet, what Tatiana is up to tonight. I know that both girls went to a pre-birthday party somewhere last night, Coralie is having her do here tonight and they're having a party at their dad's tomorrow (something that I call 'The Yawn-inducing In-Law Party' which I know for a fact that all 3 children sit through simply for the presents. Well, I'd probably do the same if I received anything). I'll most likely do something with the girls during the summer - a day out in Antwerp sounds like fun to me, especially as the girls are bound to receive clothes vouchers.

H&M, here we come.

So a big hug to the best twin girls that I could ever wish for and a very, very Happy Birthday to Coralie and Tatiana.

With much love,
Mama
xxxx

*Photo to come - promise, and then you can tell me...

Labels: Birthdays, girls

Tuesday, June 23, 2009

Up The Junction Box

This is another of the 150+ junction boxes in Brussels that have been decorated. Much nicer..

There's been a fair bit of activity in the Parliament and I interviewed Christian Engström, newly elected MEP and deputy leader of the Swedish Pirate Party. They're mainly an electronic civil liberties party and a very nice chap indeed. What is exciting a journalist friend of mine is that the Pirate Party will get a second MEP, if and when the Lisbon Treaty is ratified. He briefly met the 21 year old Swedish brunette, who will be the second, and hasn't been the same since.

I spent some time skulking around and spotted Nick Griffin, Andrew Brons and an enormous bouncer going through the process of getting registered. They were patiently going through it all. Notoriously, Kilroy spent his time shouting, ranting and raving at the poor staff, but that's the sort of wanker he is.

Anyway, I managed to interview Griffin. Not hard hitting, but revealing enough. I also wrote an analysis of who voted for them and why.

The big question is 'why have the Tories lost the plot?' The answer is that Cameron has done a deal with the eurosceptic tories; they can do what they want in Europe as long as he gets a clear run in the UK.

This is why they've finally left the EPP to form their own group. It's an odd collection of misfits and will no doubt clooapse humiliatingly. It's a disaster waiting to happen. To form a group you need 25 MEPs from 7 states. The Tories have got 55 from 7. However 5 states are represented by a single MEP. If any one of them leaves, for any reason, the group collapses.

This means that the Tories are in hock to some pretty dodgy people. Stunninlgy bad politics. Many Tories are screamingly furious with Cameron. There will be trouble ahead.

Hermie makes a friend.

It looks like Herman's out to get all the friends that he can find.

Thanks to Andy Ramblings.

Labels: Herman

Monday, June 22, 2009

Todd N° 5,378 (and still going.)

Todd finally came home on Friday, something that I was really looking forward to and had many plans lined up to do with him as his sisters are at their dad's this week. I think my enthusiasm was probably my biggest mistake.

I had asked my Ex to tell Todd to be home by 7pm as that's when we were going have supper, something I thought to be a good idea as it is consistent with when he has supper at his dad's. Todd came home slightly earlier and so I tried to get him involved in the kitchen by wiping the table and laying it while talking about how his exams went. Todd didn't have much to say about them so I asked how his MRI went and he didn't have much to say about that either. He was, however, really excited, saying "finally, I'm on holiday."

The trouble is, this isn't true.

The Ex has found a new school for Todd that is so far away that he will be boarding, an idea that I have trouble getting used to seeing as I had such a rotten experience. But then, my 3 younger brothers enjoyed boarding school, I have friends who loved it - though none of them went to the same one as me - and it will probably be a good thing for Todd.

I haven't seen the school yet, nor the boarding facilities as the Ex didn't think of asking me when they visited, but from what he says, Todd will like it and the students have to 'earn' their privileges. Seeing as neither my Ex nor I can get through to Todd it appears that discipline, which I understand to be pretty strict, coming from a third party may work. It hurts to think that I'll only get to see Todd every fortnight for 2 days only, but it looks as though this is the best solution for all.

The other plus is that the school is aimed at pupils who want to practice arts and so guitars and whatever are very welcome.

And this is why Todd isn't really on holiday yet. He has to pass an entrance exam this Thursday to get into the school which involves a dance routine and Todd has to recite a couple of 'things' - nobody has really told me what. Last Friday, Todd's cousin chose two articles for Todd to learn but since then he has done absolutely nothing. This exam is very important because if the boy fails then we are well and truly stuffed. Todd has managed to drive his father and PHT over the edge and so I am keeping Todd here for 2 weeks until he goes on holiday with them.

So going back to Friday evening, Todd told us that of course he was on holiday and was going out that night, the following night and Sunday night. We tried to reason with him telling him that he doesn't dictate to us, and that if he wanted to go out he had to be back by 11.30pm, and that was only after he cleaned his room. After being insulted worse than ever before - I swear, Todd should give lessons, he went upstairs and I saw him folding some clothes. Happy that he was doing something, I went downstairs to watch TV.

At 8.15pm Q went upstairs only to come down and ask where Todd was. As the front door hadn't slammed there was only one way out - via Coralie's bedroom window/door. Quarsan went out to look along the road while I went into Coralie's room where sure enough, the window/door was left open. Todd, who has sciatica - ho hum, had jumped out and scarpered. Quarsan found a hold-all bag outside, in front of Todd's window containing the clothes that he was folding earlier. We tried calling him but he wouldn't reply, obviously.

He came back the following day only to run out again while he was pretending to study in the front room. Quarsan found him waiting for a bus to take him into the centre of town and after a bit of a run, got him and brought him home. I suggested that Todd cleared his head a bit by mowing the lawn and he happily agreed to do it - except as soon as I went around the back - he ran off again.

He stayed out again during the night and turned up at my sister-in-law's (well, a very EX sister-in-law) to study for the exam as previously arranged between my SIL and Todd. He stayed there all day and when I called to ask if Todd could be home for 7pm I was told that she was driving Todd to her mother's where Todd would be staying for a few days until .... I don't know, my SIL didn't say, nor consult with either my Ex or me about this arrangement.

To cut a long story short, Todd has got his own way and will be staying with his mamy, although he won't be allowed out tonight. Obviously, I am furious about all of this as is the Ex because neither of us were contacted about this decision, my SIL took it upon herself to decide what is best for our son without even considering our rights as a parents. My Ex is as angry as I am and all we can hope for is that Todd passes the entrance exam on Thursday.

To console myself I'm going to watch one of the porn DVDs that I found in Todd's bedroom and I may post a review of it later on.

Reviewing your son's porn collection is a vital sign of being a good mother.

Everybody Knows This.

Labels: boarding school, running away, Todd

Thursday, June 18, 2009

Herman here.

Herman asleep in his bath.
Originally uploaded by zoeinbrussels.

As I was minding my own business in my brand new outdoor run yesterday, That Mad Woman came and started taking pictures of me and just because I was asleep in my bath she said that "it's what he does best." Well, it was a hot day and I really did need a cool down so I did, and it was so relaxing, I can tell you.

I'm not sure about this run yet though. I have my own shed - yes, a SHED - with a little door with a door-knob. That Mad Man filled it with shreds of white paper so that I can make a mattress out of it, I suppose, but I'm not too keen on sleeping in it - That Woman puts me in each night, leaves the door ajar and opens it fully in the morning so that I can escape and sleep in my favourite place: underneath the roof tile.

I overheard That Woman saying that she's going to buy some plants for in here which would be ace as the scenery is a bit bland. Some lavender and heather would be lovely, and I'd love some sort of long grass to hide in.

When I'm not sleeping under the tile I really, really enjoy crawling on it and sliding off although I did that a bit too much on the first day and my nose is sore. Yours' would be too if you landed head first each time.

It's going to rain today. Another new experience. At least I can't hear those humans squabbling all the time or have to put up with their dire TV programmes, although I've become fairly acquainted to the theme tune to a programme called 'Eastenders'.

I'm off to find that tile now.

Labels: Herman here, Herman's cage

Wednesday, June 17, 2009

It could only happen in Belgium.

Kimberley Vlaminck said that she fell asleep in a tattooist's chair only to wake up and find that she had 56 star-shaped tattoos on her FACE.

Naturally, the 18 year-old is suing the Romanian tattooist who must have misunderstood, but 56 doesn't sound the same in any language, and she did ask in English and French. And she's only suing after her dad and boyfriend saw her face so there's something not quite right about the story.

The artist will lose his licence if her story is true, so why would he do it?

I guess young Kimberley thought it was a good idea at the time.

UPDATE:

Surprise, surprise,
Kimberley lied.

Labels: Only in Belgium.

Rags finally out, not sure what's left.

The people collecting second-hand clothes came around again on Monday and I was relieved to finally get rid of all my shoulder pads, leggings, clothes I once thought were cool and are decidedly not, some very rarely worn articles and all my shoes except two pairs and the old ones used for wondering around on a bicycle in. That meant about ten or more pairs of ridiculously heeled shoes that had barely been worn - if at all will get to meet a new owner who will love them as much as I did, and even wear them.

I even gave away a couple of beautiful dresses that my parents had given the girls from Cameroon all those years ago when they were about twelve - my daughters, not my parents, and I found that very difficult. Todd's room could have been totally emptied but I just took out a brand new pair of jeans that Coralie gave him as she didn't like them - for which Todd came 'round for today. Oooops - but he was only going to use them as a joke, so it's not as if he's going to wear them.

Which leaves me with very little left indeed. I still can't part with my maternity dungarees and although the newest of clothes date from 2007, I'm not too fussed.

Herman was out all afternoon and really likes playing on the roof tile that I put in his run, especially nose-diving off. He didn't venture anywhere near his shed which I filled with shredded paper and when I saw that he was getting tired and was looking for a place to hide under I forced him into it. Herman is still in there now but I don't think I'll leave him out all night - I'm not quite sure what to do. It's not as if I've left him a quilt or anything. What if he catches a cold? Or gets homesick? I think I'd better do some research.

The Twat is on his way home after having interviewed Nick Griffin. He didn't sound particularly happy.

Can't think why not.

Labels: Herman, Herman's cage, Old clothes

Tuesday, June 16, 2009

Sunshine, rain, rain, rain, sunshine and clouds.

Saturday was a beautiful day. The sun shone which is becoming a more and more infrequent episode in our lives, especially when you consider the fact that it is mid-June, a time of the year that many consider to be summer. But let's not complain as the five-day weather forecast is as above, despite the fact that that happens to be a six-day forecast, but I have included last Saturday and Sunday, so it builds up. As I appear to be digging myself into an early grave here I'll stop, just to say that it is a sunny evening now, but rain is forecast again tomorrow.

I had intended to go out and take some photos on Saturday, but the fact that my Flickr site is no longer 'Pro' as the Twat went and forgot to update it, I'm slightly reluctant to take photos now. That's a rather pathetic reason, I know, but I've lost enthusiasm, dammit. It'll come back to me one day.

Instead, I decided to join the Twat at his boss's son's birthday party. The barbecue was superb and I picked up a few Greek cooking tips, although the extensive use of garlic is one that is already known to me. Wild cocktails were being concocted by the birthday boy although none of them were deadly, the food was great and a lot of Greek was spoken. There was also an American there who spoke faster than Woody Allen and I was simply glad that I wasn't pissed as I'd have had great difficulty keeping up with him.

Stupidly, we missed our last tram home so joined the rest of the crowd to some club on Avenue Louise where a corner had been reserved and there was an unlimited supply of vodka and various things to add to it. The music was rank but the atmosphere was great and everybody seemed to be having a good time, although it really isn't a good idea going home at 4 in the morning at our age. Despite waking up with a clear head, I felt distinctly zombie-like and won't be doing that in a mad rush any time soon.

Other news:

Herman's cage has finally been finished, and this was celebrated between my Mate Tony down-the-road who built the run, and the Twat on Friday night. They both got plastered and sat outside my bedroom window smoking until around 4.30 in the morning. Photos of the cage to come when the sun comes out - and Herman appears from the depths of his welly. I did put him in the run yesterday but I'm not quite sure what he made of it. He'll like it when I throw some plants in too.

Todd is hobbling around on a crutch. Apparently he has extreme pain down one leg which makes me think 'sciatica' and oh shit. His father has other views as apparently one day he was almost dying but as soon as it was time to see the doctor he was fine. He eventually saw a doctor despite his dad seeing Todd leg it to the house when he claimed to be in dire pain. Xrays this Friday.

And that's about it, really. Not much happening here - just job-hunting and talking to lawyers.

Fun.

Labels: going out., Herman's cage, Weather