Monday, June 30, 2008
School's out forever!
Well, it is for Tatiana. I think that having to repeat her last year has actually done her some good as she was much more relaxed throughout the exams and passed every single one with flying colours. This led to a rather uncomfortable hour sitting on bright orange chairs listening to her headmaster, donned in a matching colour shirt, read out something about the past year etc into a microphone that was barely functioning.
And then the prizes were given out, starting at the first year .... although I really don't understand why Maria Rosa Fernandez (or some such long, Spanish name) in the fourth year received the Spanish prize. She's Spanish and therefore speaks the language fluently - rather like an English girl in Tatiana's class last year who received the English prize. It simply doesn't make sense to me.
Anyway, when all the sixth year had received their respective school certificate I managed to separate the chair to which I had stuck to via a combination of plastic, sweat and synthetic trousers, bade a formal farewell to my Ex who has taken a shine to ignoring me completely and grabbed a glass of champagne for my daughters and I whilst giving strict instructions to Tatiana to stand behind me in case anybody could see my damp trousers.
I took the opportunity to talk to the headmaster about my dear son and he thinks that moving school wouldn't help, which is what I expected him to say, but he did give some fairly useful words of advice. So I reckon that Todd will be going back there next year, but he'll be heavily watched. I like the thought of that.
And then my munchkins left the following day, the Twat was out til the early hours of the morning, I didn't see him on Saturday - nor yesterday as he left for his Quaker meeting and then pissed off to take pictures at Couleur Café. He's out again today doing nothing for nothing and so maybe I'll go out and play this evening.
Work is pretty relaxed these days.
Friday, June 27, 2008
Miserable bitch.
Fine.
I have cried. I have sat here like a demented muppet feeling sorry for myself for the past two hours. The house is empty. Nobody is at home - well, apart from me, obviously.
The Twat has gone out taking photos of food or something.
My kids have gone on the first part of their annual holiday. With their Dad. To the south of France where it is uber hot. They will have a swimming pool there and lovely things such as lovely things.
I shall be here. Hoping for a job of some sorts. And don't you know what? It will piss down with rain tomorrow because that is the way it is until I get a job. Then we shall be suffering 40°C in the shade.
Without a pool.
In an office.
Fuck, isn't life great? Of course it is. I no longer have my Olympic-Sized-Swimming-Pool (OSSP to you great followers) as it died rather rapidly. I do still have my Olympic-Size-Bucket (OSB) though and that will relieve my footsies. Somewhat.
And so my babies are leaving late tonight, something that always makes me sad - or jealous. Neither here nor there, they will not be back until 14 July. I can stand them being away for a week - that's perfect; but two? Now that is stretching things a bit, although I bet I don't miss them really. It's time to party, innit? I just don't feel that way inclined tonight though, and with the Twat away until god knows when, I'm feeling sorry for myself. You don't have to join in with this blubber of mine - in fact, the more alone I feel, the sorrier I can be.
There is some logic to that.
Btw, the A4 sheet of paper that Todd put on his wall saying "Todd + Noémie 4 ever" (or something) seems to have gone.
My, my.
Wednesday, June 25, 2008
Todd.
Well, that boy certainly is a handful. He went off to get his exam results yesterday and called me from school sounding close to tears.
"Mama?"
"Yes."
"I've failed the entire year."
"Well what did you expect, Todd? You've been monkeying around all year and as for revising for your exams - well, when did you do that?"
"Yes Mama."I suppose I could have been a little more gentle towards the boy, but really, expecting sympathy from me was a bit much. I have tried and tried with Todd, but punishments don't work, stopping him seeing his friends wouldn't work as they all appear to have revised so I shall just have to try and get him into another school where he won't know which teachers he can piss off.
NEWS FLASHDoes your child leave his or her bedroom in not only a mess, but an utter tip? Does your child simply not care? Do you end up despairing about the things growing behind certain cupboards and under the bed?
I have the simple solution.
GET YOUR CHILD A GIRL OR BOYFRIEND
Todd has had a girlfriend since Friday evening. He spent most of Saturday cleaning his bedroom and filling up my washing basket with socks that he had mysteriously found in every crook and cranny possible. Todd even discovered how the vacuum cleaner works. His room is pristine, all thanks to his new girlfriend.
They sat on the sofa yesterday cuddling each other while watching a film. Todd bought her a rose and then had the audacity to tell his sisters that he didn't have any money to buy them a present. He is in love and trying to be uber cool. He is even a nicer person to have around.
Although this rather mucks up my theory that the boy is gay.
Labels: Todd
Tuesday, June 24, 2008
HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
A very happy birthday to my two gorgeous daughters who are spending more and more time away from me - as most 19 year olds do. They have been loving, caring and extremely affectionate towards me, especially since my back operation in December 2000 when they realised that their Mum needed more help than usual, especially as I was then a single mother. I have no idea what I would have done without them.
Growing up with them has been, and still is an experience and please, do join in with me when I wish a wonderful birthday to two superb girls:
Coralie and Tatiana.
xxx
Labels: Birthdays
Friday, June 20, 2008
Fucknuggets.
Well, my job interview on Monday went superbly well and I had a temping job for three weeks as of this coming Monday. Lovely. What a wonderful way to get back into a job that was taken away from me sometime last year - even though it's a far better company and even has it's own canteen. Gosh, you'll never get me out of there during the hour's lunchtime.
Except.
I received a call from my temping company yesterday telling me that one of the assistants that I was to replace had cancelled her holiday - I bet she had it all reserved with Thomas Cook or someone. So darn the last minute shopping for something reasonable to wear other than jeans with holes in places that you really don't want to know about and onwards and upwards with the temping malarky.
Things could be worse.
Quarsan and I had a very positive meeting with our lawyer only to find out afterwards that a dear friend of ours' had lost his girlfriend due to an organ failure the night before. Both Q and my heart goes out to our friend who will be attending his deceased girlfriend's funeral tomorrow. We will definitely be there with him in love and spirit.
And then today rolled on and Quarsan and I took the girls out for lunch to their favourite Italian restaurant where they were well spoilt with free champagne and an uber-size portion of tiramisu to share between the pair of them as Q and I were stuffed.
I had promised to take them out to lunch on the day of their birthday - next Tuesday, but I thought that I was going to be working. Still, it was a lovely lunch paid for by Q as part of his birthday present to the girls - and I shall be taking Coralie back there again, as not only did she eat some anti-pasti, but she finished her main course and then shared a rather large slice of tiramisu with Tatiana.
Obviously, both girls are out clubbing to get rid of that excess weight tonight.
Now, Todd.
Actually, not now - it's not good.
Thursday, June 19, 2008
Tell Me I Shouldn't Do This
Zoe is sleeping.
She is a heavy sleeper. She sleeps naked.
In the bathroom there is a large tube of Deep Heat.
Are you thinking what I'm thinking?
Should I do a Deep Heat Goldfinger?
Tuesday, June 17, 2008
The Twat's Quote of the Day.
"A scientist told me that if you make instant coffee in the micro-wave you go back in time. Just a little bit, mind."I'm still trying to work that one out.
Labels: TQOTD
Monday, June 16, 2008
The Twat gave my pond a 'brazilian'.
What is it with the man? I asked him a couple of months or so ago if he would trim back the strong grass that grows around my pond but obviously that never happened, so when the grass got so long and heavy that it collapsed into my pond causing my newts great distress I repeated my request. I got up on Saturday morning and asked the Twat if we could start clearing the pond.
"Not now."
"Not now" = "When I've finished playing around on the computer which will be sometime in December."
Still suffering from sciatica from the hijinks of the day before, I limped into the garage, grabbed my shears and started on the job. Suddenly, the bedroom window opened and a face appeared, aghast that I should be attempting such a job.
"No Zoe! I'm coming now - stop, please stop!"
Result.
The Twat may be a man, but he is sensible enough to know what I should do and what I can't do. This includes mowing the lawn, trimming the hedges and anything that involves bending up and down as the Twat would prefer 30 lashings to putting up with me and a bad back. Not that I complain, obviously, but anybody who suffers from a back problem will know just how painful it is, and in a country that dishes out paracetamol as a form of painkiller it really is best to avoid letting your partner do any strenuous work if he or she suffers from a bad back.
So the Twat came down and started with the shears. When I ask for the grass to be trimmed I don't mean cut the grass right from the very bottom. My pond is bare. The surrounding reeds and grass have all been chopped leaving just a pond and my newts. Even the frog appears to have vanished. So I took the opportunity to fill up the pond only to see the water evaporate back to the level it was previously over night. No wonder it rains so much - my pond is in the sky.
I shall just have to live in hope that the Twat was right when he said:
"Eh up lass, it'll grow back."
It hasn't yet.
Saturday, June 14, 2008
Possums!
I am trying to be back and will continue to try and stay on track (I can hear a song coming out of that) as I aim to be back in the blog-world unless things go tits up again which is quite possible on Tuesday. Hold your breath, each one of you and hope for the best as it would be greatly appreciated.
I spent Friday with
Honey, doing something that I have always secretly wanted to do: spray painting. Although we held off from putting graffiti all over my house, we did, however, cover Honey's car entirely (except the roof) with flowers. Spray painting always looks so easy but believe me, it's not if you want to make a decent job of your work. I now have sciatica and a blue thumb that I have to clean as I have a job interview on Monday.
The kids are back with their dad and face their last week of exams as of Monday. Hopefully Tatiana will do as well as she has been doing this past year and waltz out of school with an ace school certificate. I have my doubts about Todd and personally think he will have to re-take this year while Coralie seems to be doing really well at college. I'm not really sure though, as she never tells me anything. Quarsan applied for a job that I was approached about last week so I have no idea what's going on in that domain but it sounds good for everybody, more or less.
So that, in a nutshell, is an update. Another podcast is due and better blogging too.
And all of you who so sweetly link to me - I've moved. Not far away, just to
here.
Many thanks to
Andy Ramblings for the web space - and the Twat for helping out again.
Monday, June 09, 2008
Tatiana's Quote of the Day.
"Sometimes I wonder what goes on in your little head."
Help - she's taking over.
Sunday, June 08, 2008
Tatiana's Quote of the Day.
"I don't mind if you mess with my life because I LOVE messing with yours."True, daughterly love.
Labels: TatQOTD
Saturday, June 07, 2008
Moving ....
Thanks to the bloody
Cartoonist who has kindly pointed out that my permalinks are no longer working (at least, not this one - probably - and the first two posts of this month), I have, with the even kinder help of
Andy Ramblings, discovered what the problem is. Well, I didn't, Andy R did.
Help! I ran out of webspace.
So.
I shall be moving during the next week - possibly hours, minutes, days, months - even years - somewhere else. Please bare/bear with me at the Twat Mansions during the transition which should be as smooth as my inner thighs, although knowing
just how geeky I am, it will be as rough as the Twat's goatee.
What a dreadful thought. You see, I can read your minds.
Pardon, Vicus? Of
course I'm not doing it myself.
Christ, you silly, silly man.
Friday, June 06, 2008
White Riot
I went to a riot yesterday, bringing back fond memories of fighting the Thatcher Junta when I was young. I managed to get
this photo on the BBC website. French and Italian fishermen were protesting against fuel prices which is making a financially risky job untenable, especially when the EU and WTO have brought about a world food shortage.
They seemed a friendly enough lot, in a don't mess with us way. Several of them asked me where they could buy weed, I suggested Holland. Mainly they kept themselves busy whilst negotiations went on inside by wolf whistling and shouting 'Bella, Bella' at any poor woman who emerged from any building. I have to say that some of these ladies thoroughly enjoyed the attention.
Anyway, after their spokesman had exited the EU Commission HQ empty handed it all kicked off. As sailors they all had huge amounts of flairs and distress rockets and began setting them off and demolishing the pavements into handy throwing size.
More of my photos of this are hereNow, those of you who are looking for real chaos, violence and civil unrest have come to the right place. Today we have a truly deranged podcast as my beloved hides in a cupboard and looks through some old photos. 17 mins and 8MB of mp3 nonsense.
Monday, June 02, 2008
The Twat's Quote of the Day.
"Sorted. Tony's taking me to the Dole Office next week."
"Oh - that's kind of him .... but he's not bringing you back - is he?"Labels: TQOTD
Thursday, May 29, 2008
after
That's better. We built the wall up, carrying the stones over the river by rolling them up planks and made it tight. Finally we put in a path surface, filled in the gaps by chipping away some bedrock, that also widened the path.
So that's it really. We did three of these and a long section of stone path. It's a lovely place - Ashes Hollow - if you fancy a wander from Little Stretton.
